So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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