ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
