I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
