Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
