That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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