How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
