My pussy is not your playground.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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