It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
