The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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