my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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