mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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