The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
