I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
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All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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