Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
