i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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