just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
