this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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