i would punch a child for taco bell
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
