I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
