i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
