Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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