Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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