return my video game
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
