absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
