I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
