when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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