I smell stomach acid.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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