i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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