anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
