omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
