i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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