yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
