I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
