YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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