I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
