after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
