is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
