Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
