And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
