found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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