just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you didnt know i had herpes?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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