I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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