Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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