I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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