i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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