Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
