What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
