Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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