3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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