I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im holly from the hills drunk
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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