So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
