3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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