Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Shame is for Republicans.
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