Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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