Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
