Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Randomize
