whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
