well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
