you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
