I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
