Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
false alarm, still single
Randomize
