best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
