The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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